How nice if $20 millions dropped on my head...

In recent months, I have day-dreamed been hit by $20 millions from the sky... This thought comes out more often when I am tired, depressed or mistreated at work. What is funny is that I don't dream about what to do with it. It is really the security of having it that attracted me. Then I have to admit, although part of me still trying to deny, that money is among the top reasons that now I work hard.

Our business pays quite well esp. the pay is directly tied to the number, which is the ultimate driver of working hard and taking on lots of stress. I haven't gotten to that point but am afraid that sooner or later I will face it - can I leave this business and go make only half or one third of what I made before and still be Okay? Not-being-Okay thought really scares me. I hate to be tied on something and cannot let it go.

The Last Emperor Revisited

I sat down in front of TV after a long day of house work and happened to notice that this channel was showing the Last Emperor, the American version from 1987 starring John Lone and Joan Chen. I saw the Chinese version of the Last Emperor,which came out couple of years earlier I remembered, but only part of the American version in the past. So I took the opportunity and watched the whole thing. Indeed the movie was well done.

I am not sure if it is the American version focusing on some part of history that I am not so familiar with, or it is the changes in my ways of looking at things over the last 15 years. I never felt so strongly about how badly Pu Yi was mistreated after 1949. Why is it so hard to respect him and possibly use his talents / skills / knowledge? In many cultures' history, abdicated emperors were treated quite well although they no longer ruled the country. why did we have to put this guy down entirely and step on him and his dignity so much? ...