In recent months, I have day-dreamed been hit by $20 millions from the sky... This thought comes out more often when I am tired, depressed or mistreated at work. What is funny is that I don't dream about what to do with it. It is really the security of having it that attracted me. Then I have to admit, although part of me still trying to deny, that money is among the top reasons that now I work hard.
Our business pays quite well esp. the pay is directly tied to the number, which is the ultimate driver of working hard and taking on lots of stress. I haven't gotten to that point but am afraid that sooner or later I will face it - can I leave this business and go make only half or one third of what I made before and still be Okay? Not-being-Okay thought really scares me. I hate to be tied on something and cannot let it go.
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